"Bastooowwnnngh" T-Shirt

/ bæˈstoʊwn/
For those who’ve stared into the freezing Belgian woods with a thousand-yard stare and muttered it just like James and Al do – this one’s for you.

This 100% cotton unisex classic tee is built like a Sherman: solid, dependable, and not afraid of a bit of rough handling. Crisp edges, structured fit – proper battlefield attire for the sofa, pub, or your next walk round the Ardennes. Wear it under a smock, over a conscience. It’s fashion that’s seen some things.

Specs (because we know you lot like your details):
• 100% cotton (obviously – none of that artificial nonsense)
• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester (bit of give for pub lunches)
• Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester (barely worth mentioning)
• Heather colours: 50/50 blend for those who like a modern twist
• Weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (that’s 170–180 g/m² for you metric types)
• Tough tubular fabric – no side seams, no nonsense
• Reinforced neck and shoulder taping – won’t sag like a bad war story
• Double-stitched sleeves and hem – it’ll go the distance

A couple of things to know:
• The White one might look a bit more “field white” than “parade ground white”. Deal with it.
• “Natural” colour might have some dark flecks. That’s character, not a fault.

A Bit About the T-Shirt (And Why You Should Check Your Size!)

Al Murray: Now, let’s talk about the T-shirt itself—this isn’t some cheap knockoff; it’s print-on-demand, which means no wasted stock sitting in a warehouse somewhere gathering dust. Instead, every shirt is printed just for you, which is a win for both history lovers and the planet.

James Holland: Absolutely. But, and this is important—check your size before you order. We don’t want loads of returns bouncing around, adding to unnecessary emissions. Pick the right fit, wear it with pride, and show the world you know your history.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size guide